Films from the pits of hell

My new bud Bradley and I have been exchanging bad films these past few weeks. Here are some movies I would like to recommend to you:

The Apple (1980): In the future (the 1994 future!) a young folk-duo, presented as a quickly over-killed metaphor for Adam and Eve, are tempted with the dirty apple of musical success by the industry giant Mr. Boogalow. Their love is tested by the draws of glamour, excess, and lots of ugly musical numbers. The Apple was made too early for New Wave, but too late for Disco—so what we are left with is lots of ratted hair in a roller derby fantasia!




Boxing Helena (1993): Boy loves girl. Girl doesn’t love boy. Boy proceeds to amputate all of girl’s limbs. He tries to make her love and depend upon him, but she just spits back emasculating insults. Which looks odd when you’re a strangely sexy-looking talking head (literally). Kim Basinger got sued for backing out of her contract to play the lead role. Jennifer Lynch, daughter of David Lynch, directed this and no one has trusted her with a camera ever since.


The Doll Squad (1973): Forget Charlie’s Angels, this film features a band of vixen commandoes that must stop the destructive plans of a madman who will unleash his army of plague rats. From the director who brought us “Astro Zombies.” A must-see in Female/Vigilante Exploitation.


No One Would Tell (1996): Candice Cameron (DJ Tanner from Full House) is left battered and bruised in her relationship with school heartthrob Fred Savage (of The Wonder Years fame). When she turns up missing, it’s time to bring Fred to justice. Sally Jessie Raphael—yes, from the talk show—plays a judge at the trial. It’s The Battle of the Child Stars, dating abuse style.


Teen Witch (1989): A high school girl transforms herself from hopeless to hottie through the powers of witchcraft. All under the guidance of the midget woman from Poltergeist. Musical numbers include slow-motion big hair with crispy bangs being tossed back in slow-mo, and white boy versus white girl rap. Wardrobe by Jordache and Cherokee Jeans.


She Fought Alone (1995): Tiffani-Amber Thiessen gets raped—Kelly Kapowski, how could you!—by the school jock. And everyone just wants her to shut her trap so the school can, what else: Play football! Misogyny is alive and well in this made-for-TV mello-drama.

Indiana University finally gave me grocery money!

I finally got paid for the first time this semester last Friday. And to celebrate I went out and stuffed my kitchen with new inventory. Including a pyrex measuring cup, a chef's knife, and silicone muffin baking tray.

On Saturday I made a bastardized Korean BBQ beef with Thai basil. And eggrolls.

Today I came home from school and decided to make Vietnamese spicy sour soup with prawns (Canh Chua Tom). And the results were great! Took over an hour, what with making the broth from scratch.

Take a look see:


(still in the pot)


(and served out in a bowl)

Happy Birthday To Me!

I wish to have this sex club story I'm trying to finish to complete itself in a rush of inspiration, before Tuesday. Send me good thoughts, please!

Black barbers are the best!

My friend Anthony took me to a black barber this morning and they trimmed my sides and were able to shave designs into my head. Love Ngoc and Ngoc, but it's great to go to a place that is used to working with my nappy ass hair texture. They were even able to trim my sides with clippers, without even using a a guard. It was all done by hand and eye.

My favorite part of the experience in the Hoosier Barber cutting chair was when my hair lady, Pam, asked: "Is yer mama Asian, boy? Cuz you look mixed."

Blue Light Special

At the Indiana Review, we have a little mascot: this metal lamp with a blue light. And lately, my editor Abdel has been taking pictures of it in various poses, all around campus. It's been posed looking up at a limestone brick building. It's been posed reading books, it's been posed in front of a laptop looking at pictures of itself.

And now this:



courtesy of http://indianareview.blogspot.com/

A hair for all seasons

So, if you haven't known, before I left San Francisco this last August, I got my friend Ngoc to give me a new hair cut. And it looks like four different people's hairs fused together: long bangs in the front, shaved on the sides, along with a tapering shave in the back to make my hair fall into a pointed rat-tail. It was primarily inspired by Marilyn Manson's hair from the Golden Age of Grotesque era.

My main goal was to have my hair cut to be versatile; something that could be styled into a variety of modes. And this past week -- the first week of the school year -- I made my hair different for every single day.

Enjoy!