Hoosier Daddy?
It is hot out here, and the humidity has turned the air into warm pudding. I actually feel like I'm back in Southeast Asia.
My place is not the amazing and well designed (affordable) home I thought I'd be getting. I shouldn't have been so naive as to think those damn models the apartment complex tour guides show you was the real deal. There are pockets of happy details among...not so happy details: Oh cool, I get a new toilet and sink...sitting on ugly, worn vinyl. Yay! New carpet...that's poorly installed and is driving my allergies crazy. Cobwebs with thumb-sized spiders, cracks in the wall, and peeling panels in my kitchen complete the murder scene that is now my home. You know that episode of South Park where people -- rather than wait in line at the airport -- would rather ride that machine that anally penetrated you and made you give oral and handjobs all at once? It's kinda like that: Despite my living condition, it sure beats living with dirty roommates again.
And here I was being so smug about how easy it was for me to find a place to live, and how cheap the rent is. I do believe it was the Germans who have the proverb, "God punishes all small sins immediately."
One of the home furnishing items that's making my place look a lot less depressing was delivered today: A couch I found at a used funiture store
I finally got my internet set up this morning. Hence this.
I got so bored and cramped (considering that my parents are still here) once I was able to check my email, that I started looking up internet porn in the living room. My mom was in the kitchen. My dad was in my room taking a nap. I was yards away from both. And even the porn did nothing to ward away my boredom. It was a slow day filled with rearranging the layout of my place, and trying to find a Public Radio station, only to just go into iTunes and broadcasting KQED. The little touch of home was be nice.
I now have a Sam's Club card, a Kroger's card, have twice gone to Walmart (shame on me), and been in and out of Target's doors fourteen times. There are a hell of a lot of Korean people here. They travel like packs of wolves -- I never see less than five a time. I first noticed this GOD DAMN MY UPSTAIRS NEIGHBORS ARE MAKING SO MUCH NOISE AT 12:39AM DON'T THEY KNOW TO BE A BIT MORE CONSIDERATE?! IF THIS GOES ON DIAMANDA GALAS' ALBUMS WILL BE RINGING THROUGHOUT THIS PLACE ONCE MY PARENTS ARE OUT.
Okay. They stopped. Now, back to the Koreans. I just see Koreans hanging around outside of Target and the mall with other Koreans, speaking Korean.
I found a decently stocked Asian market. I can survive here. Carolyn had told me a while back that I need to destroy the relationship between the Korean American adoptee in my program and his parents. "For his own good!"
Half of the Hoosiers I've met have accents. I'm trying to acquire it for immitations purposes, once I'm back to visit.
I saw a business called "ARAB Pest Control" -- I'll be sure to snap a picture. Not sure what to make of that.
My place is not the amazing and well designed (affordable) home I thought I'd be getting. I shouldn't have been so naive as to think those damn models the apartment complex tour guides show you was the real deal. There are pockets of happy details among...not so happy details: Oh cool, I get a new toilet and sink...sitting on ugly, worn vinyl. Yay! New carpet...that's poorly installed and is driving my allergies crazy. Cobwebs with thumb-sized spiders, cracks in the wall, and peeling panels in my kitchen complete the murder scene that is now my home. You know that episode of South Park where people -- rather than wait in line at the airport -- would rather ride that machine that anally penetrated you and made you give oral and handjobs all at once? It's kinda like that: Despite my living condition, it sure beats living with dirty roommates again.
And here I was being so smug about how easy it was for me to find a place to live, and how cheap the rent is. I do believe it was the Germans who have the proverb, "God punishes all small sins immediately."
One of the home furnishing items that's making my place look a lot less depressing was delivered today: A couch I found at a used funiture store
I finally got my internet set up this morning. Hence this.
I got so bored and cramped (considering that my parents are still here) once I was able to check my email, that I started looking up internet porn in the living room. My mom was in the kitchen. My dad was in my room taking a nap. I was yards away from both. And even the porn did nothing to ward away my boredom. It was a slow day filled with rearranging the layout of my place, and trying to find a Public Radio station, only to just go into iTunes and broadcasting KQED. The little touch of home was be nice.
I now have a Sam's Club card, a Kroger's card, have twice gone to Walmart (shame on me), and been in and out of Target's doors fourteen times. There are a hell of a lot of Korean people here. They travel like packs of wolves -- I never see less than five a time. I first noticed this GOD DAMN MY UPSTAIRS NEIGHBORS ARE MAKING SO MUCH NOISE AT 12:39AM DON'T THEY KNOW TO BE A BIT MORE CONSIDERATE?! IF THIS GOES ON DIAMANDA GALAS' ALBUMS WILL BE RINGING THROUGHOUT THIS PLACE ONCE MY PARENTS ARE OUT.
Okay. They stopped. Now, back to the Koreans. I just see Koreans hanging around outside of Target and the mall with other Koreans, speaking Korean.
I found a decently stocked Asian market. I can survive here. Carolyn had told me a while back that I need to destroy the relationship between the Korean American adoptee in my program and his parents. "For his own good!"
Half of the Hoosiers I've met have accents. I'm trying to acquire it for immitations purposes, once I'm back to visit.
I saw a business called "ARAB Pest Control" -- I'll be sure to snap a picture. Not sure what to make of that.
posted by Danny Thanh Nguyen at 12:08 AM
1 Comments:
"Let's go Kroger-ing, the best of everything!" You will soon learn this jingle by heart.
Sam's has good croissants, better than Costco by far.
A word of warning: those neighbors don't know what they're in for in unleashing the wrath of Diamanda.
Parents = annoying.
I miss you.
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